How To Get Hired, or Life After Graduation

My name's Polly and I am an unemployed graduate.

Around three months ago I was thrust from the loving comfort of my University life into what older friends and relatives like to call 'The Real World'. "You're in the Real World now!" they'll say, sagely nodding over their Earl Grey while you send off your 387th job application or update your CV, again. The same CV that has been rewritten every day since you left uni, because you've suddenly noticed how many times you've used the word 'enthusiastic' or mentioned your 'excellent team working skills'.

I am, quite frankly, exhausted by it. My phone pings with emails from job search sites about unsuitable jobs - that is between the emails and phone calls from recruiters asking if I have considered a career in recruitment. Or recruitment for recruitment. Which means there are people out there, recruiting for recruiters, for recruitment. It's unbearable. I drink 500 cups of coffee a day as I restart my computer again because, after 3 years of endless essay's and googling miniature pigs in tea-cups, several of the letters on my keyboard - handily most of the ones in my name, and therefore email addresses - give up on me at 10 minute intervals.

Then there are my friends. This would all be slightly more bearable were there others in my position, but it seems that, somehow, everyone I've ever met has managed to get employed by Goldman Sachs or a similar fortune 500 graduate scheme that's going to pay them 5 million pounds a year and give them a jaguar because, despite the fact that they've spent the past 3 years with their head either in a toilet or at the end of a beer funnel, they've suddenly blossomed into the most talented young people on the planet. I've watched my number of facebook friends fall rapidly away as I cull anyone posting proud status' about how they've got their 'dream job aaaaaaaah omg so excited #suitandtie #firstday #thatsrightpollyeveryonebutyou'.

So I'm writing a seven step survival guide, if not for anyone but myself.

Step 1
Pamper yourself every now and again. Take some time to relax, or when potential jobs do call you they will sense your stress and desperation as you chatter desperately that you'd be great if someone, ANYONE would just give you a chance! Have a bath and a glass of wine. Or two.

Step 2
Avoid, at all costs, family events. "How's the job hunt pol" when asked by the 50th person is likely to be answered solely with hand gestures. If you have to go, keep the wine at hand. Joke about separation anxiety from uni life if people question it.

Step 3
Find a hobby. Needlecraft. Taxidermy. Exercise if you really must. Wine Tasting.

Step 4
Work on your CV. Both on its presentation and on its content. If you can't find relevant experience do some charity work. Charity events usually have wine.

Step 5
Go to each interview as if you don't really need the job. Panic beforehand, as it will make you prepare better, but on the day be the embodiment of confident charm. Nothing says confident like ordering wine for you and your future boss.

Step 6
When you're feeling stressed take time to appreciate things you can do because you don't have a job. Okay, so you're too poor to do anything that interesting, but you can wake up late to the sound of birdsong. You can spend all day on facebook (if you have any friends left after the cull). You can drink wine at lunch.

Step 7
Wine. 

The Graduate(s)

WOOOO I GRADUATED!!!

After three long years, countless all-nighters (some of them for essays...) and an awful lot of reading it's finally over. I'd like to thank coffee, tequila and sparknotes...

Our graduation ceremonies were hosted on the rather lovely London Road campus, which is probably the best part of Reading. It's the oldest part of the campus, and as such looks like a real old-fashioned university, perfect for Pimms and strawberries on the lawn after a nerve-wracking ceremony (no one tripped on the stairs or lost their hat - I call that a victory).

 This is not my family. This is my lovely ex-housemate (sniff) Eleanor's, but I am awfully fond of them. We could only get two tickets for the ceremony, so I spent most of the day with my dad.

 My Dad is wonderful (even if he does tend to get a bit emotional at these kind of events - there is often a tear or two shed. Sorry Dad...) and he generously provided my dress. It's Karen Millen, in House of Fraser, and it's now on sale (isn't that always the way?). My brother and sister also turned up later for a photo or two, and a celebratory meal at Jamie's on the riverside. I love Jamie's. It's so simple, and so delicious, and the staff are always fantastic. And their Earl Grey Martini? Spectacular. I may have a stab at making it and post the recipe. It's the perfect summer cocktail.

 The day was filled with lots of sunshine, photos and emotional hugging of people we're not sure how we'll live without, like these folks.

Emotional hugs all round...

 That and feeling a bit smug...

 I arrived at uni unsure if it was what I wanted to do. I had the alternative option of running away to Zanzibar (I spent some of my gap year out there and made friends with some people who were setting up their own NGO, and was more than tempted to join them), and whilst I knew university was probably the better life choice, I definitely didn't want to come. This was a feeling that resurfaced a lot in my first and second years, and there were times when I was genuinely about to leave.  Let's face it, who wouldn't rather be here than Reading...

Pure heaven. In the end though I stuck it out, and I'm so glad I did. I have some of the most amazing friends, and have had the best time (despite the lack of beach bars - although I did work at Lola Lo for a while, that's essentially the same isn't it?). I have also, shockingly, learnt a lot. I really enjoyed my course, and had some fantastic lecturers. If it's something you're unsure about, I would bear this in mind; it's only 3 years. There's plenty of time afterwards to do everything else, and it's really worth going when you're young and will really get the whole experience (largely drinking...).

So what now? I still want to travel the world. I'd like to get a job in advertising or PR. I'd like a car, and a house, and a dog that can pull off a bow tie. Maybe not the car if I end up in London like I want to. I'd like a lot of things from the future.

But first, I'd like to sit around reminiscing just a little while longer...

The Last Dance...

So I've been AWOL for a bit, sorry. I've been super busy doing an internship at an advertising agency (I'll probably tell you about it soon), and although I'm really enjoying it, it does mean I come home and the last thing I want to do is more typing! I promise to be better.

I did have a pretty exciting weekend though, at my university summer ball! I love a good excuse to dress up, and the end of our degrees seemed like the perfect opportunity!

My dress is from Oasis, but unfortunately it's out of stock, but you can browse their other red beauties here. 

Reading provided us with a funfair, a hog roast and some amazing music from James Arthur (who was surprisingly good), Funeral for a Friend, and headline act Feeder, who had me wailing at the top of my lungs at the front of the crowd. 

I had to get a good band photo from the pros, I was too busy dancing my socks off (and I was much too close...).

Louise and I were rather smitten with Callum's bow-tie (I take some credit for him wearing it...). The drinks flowed, the photos got more ridiculous and I made a total fool of myself. I'm going to be so sad to leave Reading, and all these wonderful people who light up my life. I think lots of summer trips will have to be organised around their various hometowns (and maybe a few in sunnier spots!).

Eventually the sun came up, the music stopped, and Callum and I (who made it until 6 - summer ball survivors!) stumbled heels in hand to the nearest taxi. There was talk of breakfast. There was talk of burgers. The word 'diner' was batted around. But bed was calling, and a few hours later as we crawled wrapped in duvets to the TV, food was the last thing on everyone's mind.