Showing posts with label unemployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unemployment. Show all posts

Monday, 17 February 2014

Tip your Bartender, or Life as an English Graduate, or British People Don't Brag.

This time last year, as I sat in my university room, contemplating whether it was time to start panic writing my dissertation or whether it could be put off for another week, I was relatively calm. The kind of calm that comes from thinking that when you leave uni it can't be that long until you find yourself in a 9-5 office job. That you should enjoy this relatively easy life before you're waking up at the crack of dawn to earn the living that pays for your crappy London flat and severely reduced social life. 

Well, several months down the line (eight, to be exact) and I'm still hanging around the house (not the London flat, but at home with my family) at 4pm in trackies and a t-shirt that's now tie-dyed from the amount of times I've bleached and re-dyed my hair in it. The dresses and blazers that I bought six months ago for my imminent office job hang, beautiful but unworn on my clothes rail. I've had interviews. I've done internships - actually I just finished one last week - and I have 'put myself out there' as much as I could have, and yet I still can't persuade someone to pay me. Except, of course, the landlady at the pub down the road. I love bartending. I've done it since I was eighteen, mixed in with other things, and it has rarely let me down. I would happily bartend forever if it paid more. Still I can't help but wonder, why are we not told more about the real world before we are thrown into it? I went to a school where university was more than the norm, it was a necessity. You go to uni, and that's that. Now I don't for one second resent that - I loved uni and I know it was the right thing for me. For one thing, it stopped me running away to Africa, a country which, from experience, is pretty big on mugging me. What I do resent though is the way no one tells you that it actually won't help you get a job. Yes, you will be more qualified, and in that respect it will. You can at least apply for better jobs. But in terms of actually getting them, you're no more prepared than before. 

Because I have a degree, I can now apply to be an  account executive, or a junior digital marketer. But I have no idea what that means. Obviously, I've researched it and, on paper, I know what the role entails. But, throw me into an office and the cracks would appear pretty hard and fast. University has in no way prepared me for the real world, with the exception perhaps of reinforcing the knowledge that I will always feel like I'm surrounded by people having money thrown at them for nothing, while I work two jobs to, maybe, be able to pay my rent. This is in my head. I know this. But it still makes me feel like I'm failing. Add to this the fact that everyone around me seems to be falling into their dream jobs and it's a wonder that I get out of bed in the morning. However, I'm starting to see through the illusion a bit. The curtain has been pulled away, and there is the small old man playing the wizard. Largely because I've noticed, the main 'dream job' status updater has landed three of her 'dream jobs' since last summer. And they're all in very different fields. Now, perhaps she's just a very positive person, or perhaps, more probably, she too has fallen into the facebook trap that is, in my humble opinion, ruining society. 

Let me start by saying that I love facebook. I can't get through a day, or even a boring television scene without it. But it has ruined good old fashioned British modesty. Because we now have an audience for every part of our lives, we have to make it all seem very exciting. We have begun celebrating every minor victory as if we have been given not only a golden ticket but the entire chocolate factory. But all it's really doing is making everyone else feel like, well, a bit of a failure. And it's a vicious circle, because obviously they don't want the social media-verse to know this, so they'll post an over-celebration of their latest tiny win to trick the masses into thinking their life is bloody wonderful too. This would never have happened if they had to share that  news in public. Name-dropping, place-dropping and general bragging is just not acceptable face to face. You wouldn't get it down the pub, so why is it ok on the internet?

This is one of the reasons I love the pub, and it brings me onto my second point. Everyone loves the pub. It's a staple of British society, as bars are all over the world. So why is bar-tending looked down on? (I'm guilty myself of responding to questions about what I'm up to with 'well, I'm just bar-tending for a bit'). And why is it not one of the highest paying jobs in the country? Imagine what would happen if there was a pub strike in England? It would be chaos across the country, regardless of class, social status, and if you consider the amount of family pubs, age. So I firmly believe this needs to change. We bartenders are therapists. Rent-a-friends. Often genuine friends. We will flirt with you regardless of what you look like (but remember we rarely mean it...).We will pick you up at the end of a rough day. You celebrate with us, commiserate with us, and your social welfare largely depends on us. Ask someone who their favourite bartender is and they'll know instantly. But who's your favourite lawyer? Or accountant? Or digital media analyst? Not a clue. So start a revolution with me. Maybe it is only temporary, but  I'm not 'just a bartender'. I'm a Bartender. And you couldn't make it through your week without me. 

Thursday, 7 November 2013

My Top 5 Best and Worst Things Right Now.

It's cold. It's quite often wet. I'm no longer in France. So I decided to share with you the top five things that are making my life better right now, and the top five things that are making me want to stick my head in the oven Sylvia Plath style (although it's an Aga, so I'd have to set aside a whole day to do it and still run the risk that at the end of it I'd just be more bored and slightly lukewarm...). Here goes.

Top 5 Good Things

1. Cashmere
It's soft. It's super cosy. I've taken to stealing my Dad's camel cashmere jumper in the hope that I pull it off in a relaxed low-effort Alexa Chung style cool kinda way. Unfortunately, being of a shorter and distinctly stockier breed than Alexa, it is more of a grown up version of the girl who came to mufti (non-school uniform) days in a fleece and a t-shirt laced with embroidered kittens before that kind of thing was worn ironically. Still. So snuggly.

2. Pugs
I'm dying for a pug. I would call it Grumble, and love it forever, and I don't think I've ever wanted anything so much. My sister knows this and a couple of days ago sent me this...


...to which I responded by squealing and doing that excited clapping T-rex impression girls do when they see babies dressed up as fuzzy animals. Or men holding babies dressed up like fuzzy animals. Or animals dressed up like other animals. Incidentally when I get my pug, the first thing I'm doing is buying it a T-rex costume. And a Yoda costume.


I feel better already. 

3. Buzzfeed
I could spend all day scrolling through well thought out, poignant articles like '25 Things Only 90's Kids Will Understand' and '50 Dogs Who Immediately Regret Their Decisions'. Plus nothing speaks to the single and unemployed like a good eye-roll gif. It's nice to know I'm not the only one responding to questions about my job search/love life like this.


Or just dealing with general life like this. 


Both found here. Incidentally DailyGrace is wonderful and is one of my favourite youTubers. She should be on this list, because if you ignore the fact she's effortlessly skinny, a bit famous, and is getting paid to be herself and travel around doing the things she loves, she is JUST LIKE ME!  

4. Fireworks!!!
Or rather, Bonfire Night. The actual fireworks not so much. Crackle. Bang. That was underwhelming and I can't feel my toes. Blame it on the TV generation but, unless something goes wrong and there's a near death moment for a shed or a tree (not a person...), they just don't pack the same punch they used to. But the actual night as a whole; getting dressed up in hundreds of layers, dancing around a fire with sparklers and mulled wine, having candyfloss for supper? Little bit magical. 

5. Wine.


Top (Bottom?) 5 Worst Things

1. Being Cold
I hate the cold. I'm just not built for it. So much so that I'm all for global warming. Stop recycling! Burn those fossil fuels! Sorry Bangkok. I want my winter to be half a degree warmer. 

2. Coats
This is potentially one of the reasons I hate the cold so much. I haven't found a coat I like since, well, ever. Jackets? I'm all over it. But if I want a decent winter coat, one that will genuinely shelter me from the harsh British winter, I have to accept the fact that I'm going to look like Danny Devito. 

3. Couples
We get it. You're in love and it's just. So. Much. Fun. Now STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER.


4. Unemployment
Again. I'm just not suited to it. I'm bored. And I hate being bored. I end up blogging about nothing and getting uncharacteristically angry at couples/happy people, then spending far too long finding gifs to express my disdain. Which leads to my next and final least favourite thing...

5. Reassuring Clichés, Questions, and Job Searching Advice
'How's the job hunt going?'
Brilliantly. I've landed my dream job. That's why I'm sat here at 2pm in my pyjamas, eating cereal out of the box and watching 'Charmed' for the 3rd time today.

'It's a numbers game'
Wonderful.

'You just have to get your CV out there' 
Really? It's that simple? Thank god you told me. Quite similar to:

'Are you sending your CV to companies you're interested in?'
No. I didn't realise you had to be that specific, so I've just been putting them in bottles and throwing them out to sea... 

I know I'm lucky really to have so many people who care. I love you too. But stop it. 

Happy Thursday everyone!