My Top 5 Best and Worst Things Right Now.

It's cold. It's quite often wet. I'm no longer in France. So I decided to share with you the top five things that are making my life better right now, and the top five things that are making me want to stick my head in the oven Sylvia Plath style (although it's an Aga, so I'd have to set aside a whole day to do it and still run the risk that at the end of it I'd just be more bored and slightly lukewarm...). Here goes.

Top 5 Good Things

1. Cashmere
It's soft. It's super cosy. I've taken to stealing my Dad's camel cashmere jumper in the hope that I pull it off in a relaxed low-effort Alexa Chung style cool kinda way. Unfortunately, being of a shorter and distinctly stockier breed than Alexa, it is more of a grown up version of the girl who came to mufti (non-school uniform) days in a fleece and a t-shirt laced with embroidered kittens before that kind of thing was worn ironically. Still. So snuggly.

2. Pugs
I'm dying for a pug. I would call it Grumble, and love it forever, and I don't think I've ever wanted anything so much. My sister knows this and a couple of days ago sent me this...

...to which I responded by squealing and doing that excited clapping T-rex impression girls do when they see babies dressed up as fuzzy animals. Or men holding babies dressed up like fuzzy animals. Or animals dressed up like other animals. Incidentally when I get my pug, the first thing I'm doing is buying it a T-rex costume. And a Yoda costume.

I feel better already. 

3. Buzzfeed

I could spend all day scrolling through well thought out, poignant articles like '25 Things Only 90's Kids Will Understand' and '50 Dogs Who Immediately Regret Their Decisions'. Plus nothing speaks to the single and unemployed like a good eye-roll gif. It's nice to know I'm not the only one responding to questions about my job search/love life like this.

Or just dealing with general life like this. 

Both found here. Incidentally DailyGrace is wonderful and is one of my favourite youTubers. She should be on this list, because if you ignore the fact she's effortlessly skinny, a bit famous, and is getting paid to be herself and travel around doing the things she loves, she is JUST LIKE ME!  

4. Fireworks!!!

Or rather, Bonfire Night. The actual fireworks not so much. Crackle. Bang. That was underwhelming and I can't feel my toes. Blame it on the TV generation but, unless something goes wrong and there's a near death moment for a shed or a tree (not a person...), they just don't pack the same punch they used to. But the actual night as a whole; getting dressed up in hundreds of layers, dancing around a fire with sparklers and mulled wine, having candyfloss for supper? Little bit magical. 

5. Wine.

Top (Bottom?) 5 Worst Things

1. Being Cold

I hate the cold. I'm just not built for it. So much so that I'm all for global warming. Stop recycling! Burn those fossil fuels! Sorry Bangkok. I want my winter to be half a degree warmer. 

2. Coats

This is potentially one of the reasons I hate the cold so much. I haven't found a coat I like since, well, ever. Jackets? I'm all over it. But if I want a decent winter coat, one that will genuinely shelter me from the harsh British winter, I have to accept the fact that I'm going to look like Danny Devito. 

3. Couples

We get it. You're in love and it's just. So. Much. Fun. Now STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER.

4. Unemployment

Again. I'm just not suited to it. I'm bored. And I hate being bored. I end up blogging about nothing and getting uncharacteristically angry at couples/happy people, then spending far too long finding gifs to express my disdain. Which leads to my next and final least favourite thing...

5. Reassuring Clichés, Questions, and Job Searching Advice

'How's the job hunt going?'

Brilliantly. I've landed my dream job. That's why I'm sat here at 2pm in my pyjamas, eating cereal out of the box and watching 'Charmed' for the 3rd time today.

'It's a numbers game'

Wonderful.

'You just have to get your CV out there' 

Really? It's that simple? Thank god you told me. Quite similar to:

'Are you sending your CV to companies you're interested in?'

No. I didn't realise you had to be that specific, so I've just been putting them in bottles and throwing them out to sea... 

I know I'm lucky really to have so many people who care. I love you too. But stop it. 

Happy Thursday everyone!

Bienvenue au Tillac!

I, at this moment, am a very contented bunny. As I type, I am sat in front of a roaring fire, glass of wine in hand (or at least, very near to hand whilst I type) in the beautiful south of France. Tillac, to be exact. About an hour south of Toulouse. Fantastique!

After spending Friday running around London (literally, and in heels - I had a very overbooked morning!) it was a massive relief to finally arrive in Toulouse, and be chauffeured by the lovely Lynda to her beautiful, secluded house. We got here just in time for a quick tour and a glass of champagne to see the sun go down.  

The house is nestled deep in the countryside, surrounded by corn fields and ducks. It's the perfect place to escape the strains of graduate life (job-hunting is hard, okay!) and get some last minute sun. After a long lie in on Saturday and a quick swim - the pool is freezing now but I'm hard as nails - we all set off to explore.

I wanted to run through the corn fields and re-enact some classic horror film scenes, but it was too darn sunny. Nightmare. Instead we went scrumping for apples to make friends with these handsome chaps. 

They took some coaxing to come over - they're clearly popular around here and well fed by anyone passing by, but they eventually bumbled over to say hello. They seemed to appreciate the effort of our apple theft too...

Charmer. We also managed to scrounge some hazelnuts, figs, and walnuts that Lynda made an amazing cake with. Don't tell the farmers...

We had planned to go to a Repas in Montesquiou for supper - like a big communal meal where people help themselves and sit around chatting all night - but we arrived to find a deserted ghost town. The streets were completely empty, and dimly lit by the kind of lamps you would expect to find Mr Tumnus under, so after a little wander in the moonlight we moved on to a restaurant in Bassous. The food was good, the wine was bottomless, but the real charm was in the company. If you like cats, that is.

 The restaurant was over-run with them, and we were surrounded by watchful eyes as we ate. We eventually caved and gave them our left-over duck, to the amusement of the locals, and had to leave before Lynda got too attached and brought them all home with us!

I do plan to do things while I'm here, but somehow keep getting swept up in doing nothing by the pool. It probably has something to do with all the wine...but I'm in France. It'd would be rude not to...

How To Get Hired, or Life After Graduation

My name's Polly and I am an unemployed graduate.

Around three months ago I was thrust from the loving comfort of my University life into what older friends and relatives like to call 'The Real World'. "You're in the Real World now!" they'll say, sagely nodding over their Earl Grey while you send off your 387th job application or update your CV, again. The same CV that has been rewritten every day since you left uni, because you've suddenly noticed how many times you've used the word 'enthusiastic' or mentioned your 'excellent team working skills'.

I am, quite frankly, exhausted by it. My phone pings with emails from job search sites about unsuitable jobs - that is between the emails and phone calls from recruiters asking if I have considered a career in recruitment. Or recruitment for recruitment. Which means there are people out there, recruiting for recruiters, for recruitment. It's unbearable. I drink 500 cups of coffee a day as I restart my computer again because, after 3 years of endless essay's and googling miniature pigs in tea-cups, several of the letters on my keyboard - handily most of the ones in my name, and therefore email addresses - give up on me at 10 minute intervals.

Then there are my friends. This would all be slightly more bearable were there others in my position, but it seems that, somehow, everyone I've ever met has managed to get employed by Goldman Sachs or a similar fortune 500 graduate scheme that's going to pay them 5 million pounds a year and give them a jaguar because, despite the fact that they've spent the past 3 years with their head either in a toilet or at the end of a beer funnel, they've suddenly blossomed into the most talented young people on the planet. I've watched my number of facebook friends fall rapidly away as I cull anyone posting proud status' about how they've got their 'dream job aaaaaaaah omg so excited #suitandtie #firstday #thatsrightpollyeveryonebutyou'.

So I'm writing a seven step survival guide, if not for anyone but myself.

Step 1
Pamper yourself every now and again. Take some time to relax, or when potential jobs do call you they will sense your stress and desperation as you chatter desperately that you'd be great if someone, ANYONE would just give you a chance! Have a bath and a glass of wine. Or two.

Step 2
Avoid, at all costs, family events. "How's the job hunt pol" when asked by the 50th person is likely to be answered solely with hand gestures. If you have to go, keep the wine at hand. Joke about separation anxiety from uni life if people question it.

Step 3
Find a hobby. Needlecraft. Taxidermy. Exercise if you really must. Wine Tasting.

Step 4
Work on your CV. Both on its presentation and on its content. If you can't find relevant experience do some charity work. Charity events usually have wine.

Step 5
Go to each interview as if you don't really need the job. Panic beforehand, as it will make you prepare better, but on the day be the embodiment of confident charm. Nothing says confident like ordering wine for you and your future boss.

Step 6
When you're feeling stressed take time to appreciate things you can do because you don't have a job. Okay, so you're too poor to do anything that interesting, but you can wake up late to the sound of birdsong. You can spend all day on facebook (if you have any friends left after the cull). You can drink wine at lunch.

Step 7
Wine.